I hope this dosnt offend by it had me in stiches

regards

Lockie

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers,

Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,

Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.


'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning.

It's Nature's revenge for all that sinning,

And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits


'Cos tits can be such troublesome things

When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing.

And although they go well with my Bingo wings,

I wish I'd looked after me tits.


When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow,

When it's not the sweet chariot that swings low,

When they're less of a friend and more of a foe,

Then I wish I'd looked after me tits.


When I was young I got whistles and hoots,

From the men on the site to the men in the suits,

Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.


When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,

Cruising around with my favourite suitors.

Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,

I wish I'd looked after me tits.


When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,

When they're less in the air and more near the floor,

When people see less of them rather than more,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

lol .... I can just imagine Pam Ayres reading that out too ....

Gravity wins every time!!

I do like Pam Ayres she is a hoot. I was reading the poem and it reminded me of the nursery rhyme,
Do your ears hang low,
can you toss them to and fro,
can you tie them in a knot,
can you tie them in a bow,
do they stand up straight like soldiers,
or can you throw them over your shoulder,
do your ears hang low.

But in this case insert tits with ears. hahaha.

And don't worry Lockie it takes a lot to offend this little black duck.

lol ... i see what you mean ceejay, it does have a certain similarity about it....

Thanks Ceejay!! You know that song will now never be the same for me when I see it on Playschool - not that I watch it anymore that was a long long time ago!!

Over the shoulder boulder holders!!

Mammaries, mammaries, how I love those mammaries.

Regards

Lockie

Ah Lockie you dirty old man, you break me up or down.
I love Pam Ayres

What do you mean old...........now where did I leave my teeth?

Regards

L