Man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three
likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches
to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets
her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and
dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done
this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.


The man was impressed.


The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of
golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive
clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent
all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.


The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times
the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the
remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for
their future because she loves him so much.


Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the
money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than
on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be
a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections and
absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Lawson Legend



A 28 year old Woman wanted to get married. She was having trouble choosing between three likely candidates.

The first was a handsome Milkman, A hard worker with a modest income, He was 34 years old.


The second was a skinny Engineer with a very good income, He was 45 years old.

The third was a retired Fat Business owner with 34 million in assetts, He was 85 years old.

The Woman chose the retired Business owner with the assetts because that is what women are like.

So you see that for everything you can come up with We can come up with an alternative.

Being a Feminist is OK but generalising like you do is dangerous.
If you don't believe the statements made above watch T.V or read some news papers and you will soon discover how shallow SOME Women are.





Jack Wilja Koolies

Not taking it personally are you??? This is the ROTFL area after all.
Don't believe all you read and watch, actually I prefer to study and research.

ROTFL An abbreviation for rolling on the floor laughing, ROTFL is used in various online communications, such as e-mail messages or postings to newsgroups or BBSs. It usually appears in brackets like this: <ROTFL> and is a way of adding a humorous touch to a response.

Dear Lawson Legend,

No not taking it personally just wanted to see if you would react when it was reversed with some comment.

I read some of these comments and have a laugh but am amused by the content that you post here.


Jack Wilja Koolies

Perhaps she chose the 85 year old multi millionaire because she knew there was a good chance within 5 years she would have the mulitimillions and a 39 year old handsome man

Hi Silhouette,

Now I know how the oldest profession in the world came about, A woman seems willing to do anything for the sake of a purse.


Jack Wilja Koolies

Supply & demand Jack....if the demand wasn't there... also it takes 2 to tango.... must be a few more sayings come to mind mmmm....

OK takes 2 to tango... read on:) :ThumbUP:

Remember it takes a university degree to fly a
plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet,"
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,
and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are
some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with
a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance
engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an
accident.



P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. :beer:

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit. :kewldude:

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order. :eusadance:

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. :beer:

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums. :Great idea:

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit. :prof: :eusadance:

S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget. :funny:

OMG I like it